Tuesday, May 27, 2014

My mini me

Does anyone else have a super super small kid? Sophie and I were walking up the stairs to our apartment last night when I realized that she was wearing a dress that she had worn last summer. She wasn't wearing it as a shirt either (which I've been known to do on occasion if I really like a dress she has outgrown). It fit perfectly.

We've been given hand-me-downs from my niece. Her summer wardrobe from last year will be Sophie's wardrobe this year. Did I mention that Ana is not even two while Sophie is 3 and a half? She still wears 24 month sized pants! It drives me crazy.

I'm not sure if she's just going to be super tiny for the rest of her life or what. Her dad and I are like the same height so I'm slightly tall for a girl and he's kind of short for a guy. We're both average sized as far as weight goes. I have no idea where she inherited this itty bitty gene. Part of me wonders if it's because she was born a little early (although I was technically full term) or if it's because I had an extremely stressful and complicated pregnancy. I also worry that it's because she never eats. Literally. This child is the most picky eater I have ever met. Of course, her babysitter says that Sophie eats whatever she gives her. Not at my house. I once made lasagna and the first night she cried herself to sleep sitting up at the table so she wouldn't have to eat it. The second night, she cried for 45 minutes before she finally gave in and tasted it. Although she claimed to like it she took about 3 bites and said she was full.

The worst part about having a picky eater/child that eats like a bird is that parents have a couple instincts and the strongest is to make sure their children eat. It is infuriating to the point of me wanting to pull out my hair sometimes when she simply refuses to eat anything all day or barely picks at the food that I give her. Sometimes I daydream about her eating a huge meal. That would be lovely.

Monday, May 19, 2014

So this weekend was pretty perfect...

It is very rare that an entire weekend at my house goes very smoothly, but with me being off of work and "the twin's" party on Sunday, everything went rather well. I cannot for the life of me remember what we did Friday night but I do remember that her new bedtime routine went extremely smoothly. She was out cold by 9 pm. Oh. That's right. I can't remember because I also went to bed at 9 and we slept for 11 hour straight. Good times :)

Saturday was pretty rainy so we started out with catching up on some housework and laundry. She was of course acting like I was slowly torturing her rather than just making her clean up her toys. Our trip to the zoo turned into a library trip for donuts and some new books. We also spent some time in the Early Learning Center and always she ignored all the other children and made me play with her. My little social butterfly.
Saturday night her grandparent asked if they could spend some time with her so she ended up with grandma and grandpa for the evening, which meant that Mommy got to have a date night with her boyfriend. :) 

Sunday morning I picked her up bright and early and we headed straight to one of my best friend's (she's also my boss :p) house for Brooke and Harrison's 2nd birthday party. It feels like we were just at their first birthday party so I was trying not to cry while they blew out their candles. Luckily I got put on trash duty and had tissue paper flying at my head while they were opening gifts so that was a distraction. After the party we went home and took a 3 hour nap. It was glorious. Of course this was quickly followed by a long, long walk and a trip to the park to make sure that Sophie wouldn't be up all night. 
Sophie, Brooke, and Harrison on the new teeter totter. It was definitely a hit.
Sporting our Minnie ears before opening H&B blew out their candles.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Breaking bad habits

Once of the most difficult parts of co-parenting (for me) is the struggle of raising a child that has a whole different parenting style going on at her other home. Her father and I share her 50/50, with a rotating schedule every 2-3 days. What that means is that half of the week she lives by my rules and the other half by her father and stepmother's. They are both great parents, and her step-mom and I have always collaborated on the big things like potty training. However, no two households are going to be exactly the same, and that can cause some issues.

My worst parenting habit starting about 6 months ago when Sophie started to have pretty intense night terrors. She would start screaming and crying in the middle of the night without ever waking up. That was pretty terrifying. I did some research and one of the suggestions was co-sleeping. I was all on board for that. I'm pretty much always up for Sophie cuddles. Co-sleeping basically ended the night terror problem, but we didn't end the co-sleeping. Worse, when she did wake up at night she would sometimes stay awake the entire rest of the night which led to me bringing my laptop into the room, playing cartoons for her, and going back to sleep while she laid in bed next to me watching Lazy Town or Mickey Mouse. I know. I'm the worst mom ever. I felt so bad doing it, but working 40 hours a week and going to school is already exhausting without running on 3 hours of sleep. This led to us using the laptop for her to get to sleep every single night. Not to mention her father had put a television in her bedroom for what I'm sure was the same reason.

When Sophie was a baby, up until her father and I split up, she was very good about being laid in her crib and going to sleep on her own. I decided that if she could sleep that well when she was a baby, she could do it now. I bought her a bright Minnie Mouse nightlight and two days ago I informed her that she would no longer be sleeping with me or with the laptop. I have found that when I am going to do something I know she won't like, usually a pep talk beforehand lessens the drama when things don't go her way. A friend of mine had been posting about her use of essential oils on Facebook, and sent me a sample pack so I decided to incorporate them into our new bedtime routine. This routine now consists of rubbing the Peace and Calm essential Oil by Young Living onto her feet and shoulders and diffusing Lavender in her room about 30 minutes before bedtime.

The first night was of course a disaster. She didn't even throw a fit, she just laid there and cried and cried. Hopefully other moms will understand what I mean by that. She sounded so heartbroken. I offered to read to her but she said that she would rather be alone. She's a very stubborn and independent child. After she calmed down a bit I squeezed into her princess toddler bed with her and read to her for about 20 minutes. She seemed calm so I attempted to kiss her goodnight but she started screaming and crying all over again. I brought the Peace and Calm into her room, cuddled her, and let her smell it a few times. She almost instantly quieted and soon fell asleep in my lap while I sang to her.

Last night went much more smoothly. There were some tears, but once again I brought in the Peace and Calm and she almost instantly calmed right down. She wasn't quite ready to sleep because she had a late nap but she laid in her room with a book until she fell asleep about 15 minutes later. Needless to say I was awed, but mostly thrilled.

The worst part of this transition was the accusing "Daddy let's me have a TV in my room!!" that I got over and over the first night. I explained to her that Mommy and Daddy do things very differently, but she sounded so betrayed and upset that I felt terrible until I reminded myself that I was doing this for her. I would much rather we spend our time before bed reading or singing, not only for her benefit but for my own as well. I believe it is time much better spent than laying in bed falling asleep while she watches cartoons.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Mother's Day

I suppose since this blog is about the up's and down's of co-parenting, I should start with how things sometimes go on holidays. Take Mother's Day, for example. It was last Sunday and Sophie was at her father's house for the weekend. Rather than ruin her weekend (her father is in the police academy and doesn't get much time with him) she and I celebrated together the previous weekend. We started with breakfast at IHOP, because pancakes, and then a trip to the zoo. That evening we had a pictures done by Gillian Dyan Photography and they turned out beautifully. It was a perfect day and she handled it very well. I'm sure the 3 hour nap didn't hurt anything.


She called me on Sunday to tell me "Happy Mother's Day", and that she had gotten me a present. She also informed me what my present was and I could hear her father yelling in the background "You're not supposed to tell her!" That definitely made me laugh and it was so good to hear from her. Most weekends that she's not with me I spend staring at pictures of her, wishing she was there. However, I spent the entire day with one of my favorite people at the zoo, having lunch, and then watching one of the scariest movies I've ever seen. Seriously. Have you seen the Conjuring? Don't. It's terrifying.