Normally I blog, not to complain, but to share my problems and difficulties with other moms out there so that they can relate or even give me some solid (and much needed) advice. Today I'm going to write about something, and I honestly don't know if anyone of my other moms out there are going to relate to this. I'm sure most of you might shake your heads at me. Regardless, I'm going to share it, and anyone who reads this is welcome to give me their input.
Today, we're going to talk about religion.
I've been an atheist since I was a child. The idea of God just never rang true to me. I would be in church thinking "Really?" When I was about 17 I moved in with my aunt and was forced to go to a hardcore Southern Baptist church at least three times a week. At that point I decided to "try harder" with religion. I prayed all the time, read the bible several times over, was involved in several youth and bible study groups... Still nothing. Although I loved all the people I went to church with, I still wasn't in love with the church itself. Or its values. I've never looked down on anyone that was religious, it's just not for me.
Now, on to Sophie. She's been going to church with her dad's side of the family for a while now. And that's fine with me. I want her to grow up how I did. I want her exposed to religion and I want her to make her own educated decision without me forcing my opinion on her. I plan on doing so by educating her on the science side of the world and I guess her dad's side can take care of the religion part. I don't plan on telling her my exact feelings on the subject until she is much, much older because I don't want to influence her so young.
However my problem occurs when she asks me things like "Are angels real?" "Are you going to heaven when you die?" "Will I go to heaven?" I'm assuming they are discussing what happens after a person dies in church because yesterday she went so far to ask "What if I died right now?" What am I supposed to tell her? "Well, I personally think nothing would happen but according to your dad's religion you wouldn't be going to heaven because you're not baptized." UGH! I don't want to be talking about these things right now. So far all I've told her is that she should ask her pastor at church. My biggest struggle when she asked me why God made the earth and all the people. It's very hard for me to not to say "He didn't". I'm not even sure if I should try to explain evolution to her, or what. The Catholic faith is embracing it, so she should be able to as well, right?
Anyway, if anyone has an opinion or advice on this, I'd love to hear it. Whether you're a parent or not. This mom just needs some help.
Being raised in a very hardcore cult as I call it (Jehovah witness) I grew up believing everyone I knew outside of the religion would be dead and those not true at heart inside the religion would die as well. This meant 100% of my classmates and 80% of all my family. I left at 16 and have been shunned by that family since. I tried different religions after I left and went to a hardcore Baptist Church for quite a while too. I came to my own conclusion that I hate organized religion and those who openly proclaim to be the most Christian are usually the worst hypocrites. I have three kids, none have been raised in a religious home, all have been raised with good morals. I think not adding the fear mongering of religion has made the more open minded to life and all different aspects of people out there without judging. When Madison was almost four she asked why we were born if we just died. I knew she needed more. I was honest, as much as you can be with a four year old. She knows I believe there is a “higher” power out there, whether it be God or something else. She knows I believe the bible was made to control people. She was curious about her friend’s church, I took her, they told her about burning in hell if you weren’t baptized, she never wants to go back. She asked “How could they talk to kids about that????” She also noticed how this girl now acts as if she is better than her classmates because she is baptized and they aren’t. Madison is learning young. At this point she and I have chosen to believe in “reincarnation” if you will. This life teaching us lessons for the next, being the best person you can be. She is happy with this saying she will pick us for her family again. I have actually done a lot of reading on that subject and it is pretty interesting. I think we need to take cues from the kids. We worry so much that we tend to over explain. Sometimes a simple “I don’t know but it will be interesting to find out” is all that is needed. Sophie is lucky to have a mom as open as you.
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